There has been
some furor over the
Obedient Wives Club (sorry, no link to club, only reports) establishment. The main goal of the club, which many find offensive, is the idea that a wife should be a high-class hooker for her husband in bed in order for him to be happy and not leave them.
I suppose those ladies wants a return to the subservient Derma Taksiah who washed her husband's feet when he returned home and dried said appendage with her long and luxuriant hair. These are educated women, mind you. They have travelled and seen the world, yet they still hold such views.
Frankly, I thought the idea of the club should be offensive to men; bringing them down to the level of slobbering animals who care for nothing else but sex from their wives.
Although the club members avow that their point is about giving sexual satisfaction to their husbands will keep their marriage happy, it still smacks of a transaction between a hooker and a john. Lust without emotion. I give you something you want, you stay faithful to me. Quid pro quo. So why is it in this context, it appears as though a husband and wife cannot enjoy each other sexually in a mutually satisfying partnership without the need to lower one partner to the level of a sex worker?
The thing is, the Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him) did mention on the importance of sex in a relationship. That a wife is deserving of physical and spiritual succor. That it is the
duty of the husband to give her satisfaction. But he also stressed on other factors that is vital for a relationship to work as well.
The marriage solemnisation in Islam has no mention of obedience; unlike the traditional Christian wedding vows. So I don't understand where did this idea of obedience and subservience to your husband comes from. The longest and most fulfilling marriage of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) was his first one with Siti Khadijah. She was older than him and was his boss to boot before they got hitched (she proposed to him, mind you.). He was monogamous with her and mourned her loss; it was some time after she passed away before he agreed to take another wife. He spoke of her fondly that some of his other wives were a little jealous of a dead woman.
Would an older woman likely to be subservient to her husband? I think not. An older woman would, however, likely to be a proper helpmeet and partner who will cherish her husband within the bedroom as well as without. It would appear that the secret of the success of their relationship did not hinge on whether Siti Khadijah knows the kama sutra, but rather because she was conversant with the Al-Quran.
I would like to think that men want a partner who is also a friend with whom they can converse; that they care for a smart woman who will raise their children well, and that they want someone who will cherish them even when the pole can no longer raise the flag.
But then again, perhaps I am just a hopeless romantic.
