... says a thousand words.
Good job as usual, Datuk Lat!
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
Monday, May 6, 2013
My Mama says ...
... say something nice or say nothing at all.
I wrote on Saturday about Anas Zubedy's campaign Time for Healing. I think this is a very important campaign in the light of the when you see a lot of people (and friends!) become polarised, thanks to politics.
Politicians are terrible creatures, so we must not let them keep us from enjoying our friends and families, from having good and kind thoughts and deeds to each other, and we mustn't let them encourage us to look at each other with seething anger and suspicion.
And no, politicians are not cute like this guy:
I think we could all do a little bit for the "Say Something Nice" campaign (no need to do it formally). Let's start with a smile for someone we don't know and work from there.
From non-verbal communication, we should graduate to something like ...
"Malaysia have LOADS of GREAT FOOD."
What? You think I am full of ideas? Let me work on it, okay?
This morning at close to 1 am, the last of the 13th General Election (thank God it's over) result has been announced. I was asleep when it happened; I prize sleep higher than any kind of aggravation that I suspect the announcement will give me. I think it's better to just get it over with at one go (kinda like ripping off a Band Aid) rather than the waiting with bated breath for each announcement in between political pundits droning on and on.
I think most Malaysians greeted this day with this face:
And not just because today is Monday.
Doesn't matter if you're rooting for the ruling coalition or the Opposition. I doubt anyone is perfectly happy with the outcome: the Oppo supporters were hoping for total house revolution, the government supporters want to seize back Penang and Selangor (fat chance; not to mention Kelantan is a law of its own).
At the end of the day, life must go on. Put aside your personal disappointment and collective outrage and just keep living life as you always have. We have to accept that life is not a meritocracy. The best doesn't always win. The righteous doesn't always prevail. And many times, the evil dude wins the day.
As much as we wish the coalition that we back had done this:
It didn't happen.
I also suspect that evolution is not just about survival of the fittest, but it includes the positioning of the fortuitious. Otherwise, how do you explain lampreys?
*shudder*
Politicians are terrible creatures, so we must not let them keep us from enjoying our friends and families, from having good and kind thoughts and deeds to each other, and we mustn't let them encourage us to look at each other with seething anger and suspicion.
And no, politicians are not cute like this guy:
I think we could all do a little bit for the "Say Something Nice" campaign (no need to do it formally). Let's start with a smile for someone we don't know and work from there.
Smile. It makes them wonder what you're up to. |
"Malaysia have LOADS of GREAT FOOD."
What? You think I am full of ideas? Let me work on it, okay?
Saturday, May 4, 2013
X marks the spot
Malaysians who are registered voters will be making X's and ticks on the sweet spot on the ballots to choose which joker gets to represent them at the state assembly as well as the national Parliament tomorrow.
Things have gotten a bit tense with both sides going all out badmouthing the other party and praising their own (non existent) virtues, or as the Malays put it, masuk bakul angkat sendiri, (literal translation: getting into a basket and lifting it yourself. No, not in an elevator).
One side is promising transformation of the country into higher income nation and has put in place a number of policies to make this happen. The other side accuses the incumbent of corruption, cronyism yada yada yada and is urging for CHANGE at any cost for whatsoever reason. Just give them a try. You know, like that outfit you liked at Debenhams. Except that you're gonna keep buying (and paying for it) for the next five years. According to them, if we don't like them, we can return them after the five years are over.
Right.
It is quite common to have a lot of mudslinging and accusations of money politic (face it; you'd do the same if you have the moola). There's really nothing new to that. Those who are intensely political (whether a member of a political party or no) are prone to grand pronouncement of the evil being/has been/will be perpetrated by the other side.
However, the vitriol appears to be magnified with social media. Facebook, Twitter, tumblr, blogs etc has made lobbing accusations, speculations, half truths and downright lies to muddle things up beyond all recognition downright effortless. What with the pictures and videos and innuendos and blatant statements, there is no peace in scrolling down my FB wall. I am not going to put up examples of the idiocy they keep spewing every ten minutes; I don't think keeping my blood on boil is good for my health.
I actually longed to see anything but those toxic sewage and would gratefully accept my married friends posting sweet nothings to their significant others or the mommies crowing that their precious child had scored all As/had bowel movement/won the Nobel prize. Mind you, these are things that often made me grit my teeth and want to do massive de-friending.
It's enough to make me want to run screaming into the night.
I do believe that for our government to work well, we need a strong and decent Opposition. Sadly, that is not what we have. We have a loose "coalition" of three parties (actually five, but one got absorbed into the Big Brother's party and the remaining adik is being mercilessly bullied by the rest) which doesn't even share common goals or ideals. But hey, politics make for stranger bedfellows and all the best to those who believe in their earnest exhortations on how they are actually BFFs (who stab each other in the back on a regular basis) who are the best people to run Malaysia. They will give us free education! Lower the price of petrol (or gasoline to those who speak American)! Abolish toll roads! Vote us and you'll go to heaven!
And the BS goes on.
(Yeah, you can probably see which side I'm leaning on, hehehe).
What really got my goat is their rallying cry of "Ini kalilah!"; an abuse of the national language which does not endear them to me AT ALL. Kalau aku tanya "Baru turun tongkang ke?", marah pulak nanti...
Anyhoo ... if you are a registered Malaysian voter, please understand that you are incredibly precious to the country. Not just your contribution to the country's economy, but also for ensuring that we elect the right person to lead the nation.
You are spoilt for choice! You can choose from the incumbent coalition, the Opposition (in a few places, they actually fielded more than one candidate from different parties. I told you it's a loose coalition *rolls eyes*) and a whole slew of Independent candidates (most of whom are actually sulkers from either the incumbent or the Oppo; a few are genuine believers that they have a chance at winning).
Whichever party that wins, we must come back together as a nation. It is sad that politics have driven a wedge that separates us, but I have faith that Malaysians can see the bigger picture and put aside our differences to continue to make our country the best that it can be.
For that purpose, Anas Zubedy of the famed "Let us add value" advertisements (that rival Yasmin Ahmad's films on triggering tearful reactions) that appear in the newspapers during the National Day and Malaysia Day has initiated a campaign to heal this rift.
So please participate in this, and help us put the silliness of the elections behind us as quickly as possible. Let us make a conscious effort to not hold grudges, to stop reading and spreading poisonous materials that are put up on our FB walls, and to just keep on living our lives the way we always have (or at least aspire towards): with dignity, grace and kindness.
I don't know photoshop or I'd change the flag. |
One side is promising transformation of the country into higher income nation and has put in place a number of policies to make this happen. The other side accuses the incumbent of corruption, cronyism yada yada yada and is urging for CHANGE at any cost for whatsoever reason. Just give them a try. You know, like that outfit you liked at Debenhams. Except that you're gonna keep buying (and paying for it) for the next five years. According to them, if we don't like them, we can return them after the five years are over.
Right.
Whoever voted a pauper into office?
However, the vitriol appears to be magnified with social media. Facebook, Twitter, tumblr, blogs etc has made lobbing accusations, speculations, half truths and downright lies to muddle things up beyond all recognition downright effortless. What with the pictures and videos and innuendos and blatant statements, there is no peace in scrolling down my FB wall. I am not going to put up examples of the idiocy they keep spewing every ten minutes; I don't think keeping my blood on boil is good for my health.
I actually longed to see anything but those toxic sewage and would gratefully accept my married friends posting sweet nothings to their significant others or the mommies crowing that their precious child had scored all As/had bowel movement/won the Nobel prize. Mind you, these are things that often made me grit my teeth and want to do massive de-friending.
It's enough to make me want to run screaming into the night.
I wish I could escape too.
Politicians have behaved as they always did since people discovered that they can screw up society beyond belief (and profiting from it!) by holding elections. After all, a dictator only needs to make sure the gulags in the most inhospitable of countryside are well supplied to house any and all dissidents; no popularity contests needed. Since Malaysia boasts a democratic process to populate the Parliament under the Constitutional Monarch (our beloved Yang Dipertuan Agong), we see the shenanigans amping up since the nomination day some three weeks ago.
Just change the flag in the background and this is applicable worldwide.
Both sides claim that they can do the best for the country. I am pretty partisan, don't get me wrong. But this post is not about preaching to the choir or trying to convert the infidels. I am just as cynical as many about what politicians can actually deliver. The crushing blow experienced during the 2008 election has made the incumbent work harder to satisfy the grassroots, sometimes doing ridiculous things that make even their hardcore supporters wince or even explode in outrage. Nonetheless, this isn't necessarily a bad thing; gone are the days they can put up a flag pole as a candidate and they'll get the votes. They have to amp up the game and do whatever possible to make sure that this time around they'll coax the voters to give them a comfortable majority.
Glad-handing once every four to five years. In between election, the elected official often vanishes into the aether.
I do believe that for our government to work well, we need a strong and decent Opposition. Sadly, that is not what we have. We have a loose "coalition" of three parties (actually five, but one got absorbed into the Big Brother's party and the remaining adik is being mercilessly bullied by the rest) which doesn't even share common goals or ideals. But hey, politics make for stranger bedfellows and all the best to those who believe in their earnest exhortations on how they are actually BFFs (who stab each other in the back on a regular basis) who are the best people to run Malaysia. They will give us free education! Lower the price of petrol (or gasoline to those who speak American)! Abolish toll roads! Vote us and you'll go to heaven!
Standard campaign promises. For some, the manifesto is not a promise.
And the BS goes on.
(Yeah, you can probably see which side I'm leaning on, hehehe).
What really got my goat is their rallying cry of "Ini kalilah!"; an abuse of the national language which does not endear them to me AT ALL. Kalau aku tanya "Baru turun tongkang ke?", marah pulak nanti...
It's definitely a chicken vs egg situation.
Remember, your vote counts. Unless you spoil it.
You are spoilt for choice! You can choose from the incumbent coalition, the Opposition (in a few places, they actually fielded more than one candidate from different parties. I told you it's a loose coalition *rolls eyes*) and a whole slew of Independent candidates (most of whom are actually sulkers from either the incumbent or the Oppo; a few are genuine believers that they have a chance at winning).
Choose which ever your heart desires ...
Whichever party that wins, we must come back together as a nation. It is sad that politics have driven a wedge that separates us, but I have faith that Malaysians can see the bigger picture and put aside our differences to continue to make our country the best that it can be.
For that purpose, Anas Zubedy of the famed "Let us add value" advertisements (that rival Yasmin Ahmad's films on triggering tearful reactions) that appear in the newspapers during the National Day and Malaysia Day has initiated a campaign to heal this rift.
So please participate in this, and help us put the silliness of the elections behind us as quickly as possible. Let us make a conscious effort to not hold grudges, to stop reading and spreading poisonous materials that are put up on our FB walls, and to just keep on living our lives the way we always have (or at least aspire towards): with dignity, grace and kindness.
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Midweek sh*ts and giggles
Happy Labour Day!
She works hard for her money. Yup.
Yeah. Stick to your day job as a fictitious character. *facepalm*
To all the girls I've loved before ... who travelled in and out my door ...
A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. In an athlete's case: cheat.
Politicians: no matter what incarnation, they still lie.
Yeah, the fairer sex could still bomb the hell out of ya.
And it still holds true.
It's not gonna spank by itself, is it?
Who needs Disneyland or Six Flags when you can get your adrenaline rush daily?
Someone's gotta do it, right?
Work hard, party harder.
This is what happens when you have a very stressful job.
No one believed that Deirdre was a real chemist.
Because waiting for men to do it will take forever.
Reference song:
Hope you had a nice holiday!
She works hard for her money. Yup.
Yeah. Stick to your day job as a fictitious character. *facepalm*
To all the girls I've loved before ... who travelled in and out my door ...
A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. In an athlete's case: cheat.
Politicians: no matter what incarnation, they still lie.
Yeah, the fairer sex could still bomb the hell out of ya.
And it still holds true.
It's not gonna spank by itself, is it?
Who needs Disneyland or Six Flags when you can get your adrenaline rush daily?
Someone's gotta do it, right?
Work hard, party harder.
This is what happens when you have a very stressful job.
No one believed that Deirdre was a real chemist.
Because waiting for men to do it will take forever.
Reference song:
Hope you had a nice holiday!
Thursday, April 18, 2013
Enemy mine ...
Tempting the Bride by Sherry Thomas
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
I used to scoff at romances written before the 90's that have the hero and heroine bickering of mutual hatred and then suddenly falling into each other's arms. But that's mostly because that kind of trope are often clumsy when you are pushing for virginal heroines who are unworldly (read: stupid) in face of world-weary cynical heroes who are often at least a decade (or even much more) older than her.
But here Ms. Thomas has deftly woven a story about how a bickering pair can overcome past hurts and pride to come together for a love ever more. Hastings hid his teenage infatuation for Helena behind a caustic tongue and nasty tricks. Of course being a strong-minded woman, Helena responded by making Hastings life a misery. I love how Hastings wooed Helena with an erotic story he wrote and I would love to get my paws on it. From what I've read thus far, it is definitely better than Fifty Shades of Grey.
Most enjoyable. Go read.
Male protagonist: 5/5 stars
Female protagonist: 5/5 stars
Storyline: 4/5 stars
Pacing: 4/5 stars
Fun Factor: 4/5 stars
Repeat Reading Factor: 4/5 stars
View all my reviews
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
I used to scoff at romances written before the 90's that have the hero and heroine bickering of mutual hatred and then suddenly falling into each other's arms. But that's mostly because that kind of trope are often clumsy when you are pushing for virginal heroines who are unworldly (read: stupid) in face of world-weary cynical heroes who are often at least a decade (or even much more) older than her.
But here Ms. Thomas has deftly woven a story about how a bickering pair can overcome past hurts and pride to come together for a love ever more. Hastings hid his teenage infatuation for Helena behind a caustic tongue and nasty tricks. Of course being a strong-minded woman, Helena responded by making Hastings life a misery. I love how Hastings wooed Helena with an erotic story he wrote and I would love to get my paws on it. From what I've read thus far, it is definitely better than Fifty Shades of Grey.
Most enjoyable. Go read.
Male protagonist: 5/5 stars
Female protagonist: 5/5 stars
Storyline: 4/5 stars
Pacing: 4/5 stars
Fun Factor: 4/5 stars
Repeat Reading Factor: 4/5 stars
View all my reviews
Friends to Lovers ...
Ravishing the Heiress by Sherry Thomas
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
Sherry Thomas writes awesomely mellifluous historical romances. She has a way of crafting words that are lyrical, evocative and so redolent of the era. You are unlikely to find jarringly modern phrasing in her work; e.g. "You wish," she jeered.
This book explored the reality of unrequited love and how love can grow even without the thunderbolt out of the blue. Millie's and Fitz's journey from an arranged marriage, to acceptance, and even rejoicing in their relationship, and how they moved from platonic relationship to sexual awareness and mutual lustful abandon.
Perhaps some would find Millie to be rather passive and boring, compared to most heroines who are vivacious and spirited. But to me, she epitomised strength in fortitude, and how patience can be rewarded in time.
My only complain is that Ms. Thomas' books seems to be getting shorter and shorter. Her debut, Delicious, was a satisfyingly long and engrossing read. I guess she got better at condensing her scenes for maximum drama with minimum words.
Go read.
Male protagonist: 5/5 stars
Female protagonist: 5/5 stars
Storyline: 5/5 stars
Pacing: 4/5 stars
Fun Factor: 4/5 stars
Repeat Reading Factor: 4/5 stars
View all my reviews
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
Sherry Thomas writes awesomely mellifluous historical romances. She has a way of crafting words that are lyrical, evocative and so redolent of the era. You are unlikely to find jarringly modern phrasing in her work; e.g. "You wish," she jeered.
This book explored the reality of unrequited love and how love can grow even without the thunderbolt out of the blue. Millie's and Fitz's journey from an arranged marriage, to acceptance, and even rejoicing in their relationship, and how they moved from platonic relationship to sexual awareness and mutual lustful abandon.
Perhaps some would find Millie to be rather passive and boring, compared to most heroines who are vivacious and spirited. But to me, she epitomised strength in fortitude, and how patience can be rewarded in time.
My only complain is that Ms. Thomas' books seems to be getting shorter and shorter. Her debut, Delicious, was a satisfyingly long and engrossing read. I guess she got better at condensing her scenes for maximum drama with minimum words.
Go read.
Male protagonist: 5/5 stars
Female protagonist: 5/5 stars
Storyline: 5/5 stars
Pacing: 4/5 stars
Fun Factor: 4/5 stars
Repeat Reading Factor: 4/5 stars
View all my reviews
Magic in the air ...
Crystal Cove by Lisa Kleypas
My rating: 4 of 5 stars
This is the latest (final?) installment of the series that started with Christmas in Friday Harbour. Lisa Kleypas has always been my go-to author for stories with epic emotions and larger than life characters.
(the rest is under cut for spoilers)
My rating: 4 of 5 stars
This is the latest (final?) installment of the series that started with Christmas in Friday Harbour. Lisa Kleypas has always been my go-to author for stories with epic emotions and larger than life characters.
(the rest is under cut for spoilers)
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Midweek sh*ts and giggles
The first in 2013. Enjoy.
Is it Friday yet?
Charles I: the first cannibal king of England? Dafuq?
Sashay! Sashay!
Fairy tales for contemporary feminists, FTW!
That's what happens when only men wrote history books.
OMG, yes!
In the land of make believe ...
.... you're mine tonight
... although you are far away
I fell in love with Dusty Springfield thanks to Jennifer Crusie's Welcome to Temptation, one of the shiniest example of screwball romantic comedies in print. A woman forced to make soft porn in a small town and fell in love with the mayor who's fighting against an anti-pornography law? Classic. I love to belt along to Dusty (singing badly, I will admit) as I tool down the highway in my cute compact. But this post is more than just a rec of my favourite author and 60's singer, but an examination of how badly you can screw up your life if you are unable to get out of the land of make believe.
Fantasies are one of the most amazing creative forces that shape human existence. Our lives are enriched by it; either we enjoy the escapism of our own day dreams or we enjoy the artistic output of other fantastic minds (Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings, etc.). Fantasies can help us cope with traumatic events by providing a happy ending (that didn't happen) or softening the blow (the Nile ain't just a river). There are those who scoff at people who fantasises or daydreams, thinking that keeping your feet firmly on the ground is the only way to live. But hey, different strokes for different folks, aye? Being a killjoy ain't gonna make your virtuousness any more palatable when you shove 'em down other people's throats.
But there is a dark side to fantasies as well, they're not just unicorns and enchanted gardens. Some of us entertain thoughts and ideas that are contrary to normative values of the society we live in (not to mention stuff that would get you either stuffed into a straight jacket and drop-kicked into a maximum security prison). No matter how perverted or twisted your fantasies are, so long as they remain just that, fantasies that is, it shouldn't be a problem.
Or would it?
Armin Meiwes was born in the wrong country and time. If he were a native of Papua New Guinea prior to the 20th century, human meat would have been available on the menu to satisfy his palate (perhaps without the cordon bleu pretensions). Unlike many who would simply visit fetish sites to get their kicks, Herr Meiwes actually advertised for a human to be eaten and apparently had a few responses. Needless to say Herr Meiwes did not get away with consuming his victim; although the act was consensual (if someone doped to the gills with painkillers and liquor after chopping off his manly bits can give proper consent), Herr Meiwes is now serving a life sentence.
Recently we heard about Gilberto Valle, a police officer in New York who has been found guilty of "conspiracy to kidnap and illegal use of law enforcement computer databases to research potential targets," thanks to his cannibalism fantasy. He toyed with the idea of stalking, killing and eating his wife and a few women of his acquaintance. It wouldn't have been bad had he stopped there, but he was caught accessing law enforcement database to feed this fantasy.
The trial unearthed his gruesome porn habit and his chat and email records showed stalker-y tendencies that would make any sane woman shudder. Although none of his "victims" were actually harmed, but he is now considered to be a danger to society, thanks to evidence that his fantasies have bled into some actions in real life. No, he did not buy any duct tape or chloroform. But he took pictures of women of his acquaintance and shared it with like-minded cyber pals with ideas of what he would like to do to these women. His persistent queries over his wife's running route took on a sinister cast when it was discovered that he was preparing a menu featuring her as the main course.
So where do we draw the line between what we can safely fantasise and becoming a real threat to society? Minority Report, much?
The revelation of child sexual abuse by the clergy and in orphanage or juvenile delinquent institutions the world over as well more reports daily about children sexually abused by their family members have gotten people up in arms and paranoid about child molesters. In the Western countries, there are sexual predators lists made available to the public and websites where you can check if you got sex offenders (particularly those who prey on children) in your neighbourhood.
Law enforcement take sexual predators of children very seriously. Many have a specific group working to identify and capture paedophiles. It is admirable and heartbreaking work as there are many children who are still injured despite their efforts. But should Lolita fantasists be penalised for their fantasy? Rachel Aviv reported the slippery slope that landed John, a military veteran unable to connect with women of his age who sought refuge in fantasising about sex with young girls, in prison.
His addiction to hardcore pornography featuring young girls being abused has led him to a sting operation that exposed him as a possible sexual offender. I found it disturbing that he could look at those pictures and get aroused, not seeing them as victims or empathising with their pain and trauma. Most child pornography are created illicitly by the abusers, unlike mainstream(?) porn featuring adults who consent (mostly) to the acts that are committed on celluloid (or digitised in these days). This dissociativeness is not unusual among hardcore porn consumers; the images are just pictures, not real people to them. Porn rewires your neural pathways for gratification; it keeps consumers going for greater kinkiness because they can no longer get off with plain vanilla sex.
Many would say that if the law enforcers did not entrap him, John is highly unlikely to act on his fantasies. After all, the man still knows right from wrong and is aware that his fetish is illegal. He had not abused any girls; most of his sexual encounters were with prostitutes. But would his fantasies have just remained on his desktop computer and not getting him to purchase an airline ticket to a holiday destination that is known to offer child sex workers? We will never know.
It is a great leap from watching porn to actually committing the acts you watch, true. Just like millions who play Grand Theft Auto never go on shooting sprees. The Internet is a wonderful tool to connect with other people who share similar ideas and engage them in role-plays and fantasies. However, it is incredibly sad that a man who had served in the military, considered a competent man in his area of expertise but was so crippled by his poor social skills that he attempted to find a sense of belonging among such a dastardly community.
Therefore, when the fodder of your fantasy tends to be the kind that WILL land you in prison, you have to be extra careful about committing acts that can be construed as turning your fantasies into reality. Or you could be like John, behind bars for the better part of twelve years without even living out his fantasy.
... although you are far away
I fell in love with Dusty Springfield thanks to Jennifer Crusie's Welcome to Temptation, one of the shiniest example of screwball romantic comedies in print. A woman forced to make soft porn in a small town and fell in love with the mayor who's fighting against an anti-pornography law? Classic. I love to belt along to Dusty (singing badly, I will admit) as I tool down the highway in my cute compact. But this post is more than just a rec of my favourite author and 60's singer, but an examination of how badly you can screw up your life if you are unable to get out of the land of make believe.
Fantasies are one of the most amazing creative forces that shape human existence. Our lives are enriched by it; either we enjoy the escapism of our own day dreams or we enjoy the artistic output of other fantastic minds (Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings, etc.). Fantasies can help us cope with traumatic events by providing a happy ending (that didn't happen) or softening the blow (the Nile ain't just a river). There are those who scoff at people who fantasises or daydreams, thinking that keeping your feet firmly on the ground is the only way to live. But hey, different strokes for different folks, aye? Being a killjoy ain't gonna make your virtuousness any more palatable when you shove 'em down other people's throats.
But there is a dark side to fantasies as well, they're not just unicorns and enchanted gardens. Some of us entertain thoughts and ideas that are contrary to normative values of the society we live in (not to mention stuff that would get you either stuffed into a straight jacket and drop-kicked into a maximum security prison). No matter how perverted or twisted your fantasies are, so long as they remain just that, fantasies that is, it shouldn't be a problem.
Or would it?
Armin Meiwes was born in the wrong country and time. If he were a native of Papua New Guinea prior to the 20th century, human meat would have been available on the menu to satisfy his palate (perhaps without the cordon bleu pretensions). Unlike many who would simply visit fetish sites to get their kicks, Herr Meiwes actually advertised for a human to be eaten and apparently had a few responses. Needless to say Herr Meiwes did not get away with consuming his victim; although the act was consensual (if someone doped to the gills with painkillers and liquor after chopping off his manly bits can give proper consent), Herr Meiwes is now serving a life sentence.
Recently we heard about Gilberto Valle, a police officer in New York who has been found guilty of "conspiracy to kidnap and illegal use of law enforcement computer databases to research potential targets," thanks to his cannibalism fantasy. He toyed with the idea of stalking, killing and eating his wife and a few women of his acquaintance. It wouldn't have been bad had he stopped there, but he was caught accessing law enforcement database to feed this fantasy.
Surely this baby-faced dude couldn't want to roast and eat me?
The trial unearthed his gruesome porn habit and his chat and email records showed stalker-y tendencies that would make any sane woman shudder. Although none of his "victims" were actually harmed, but he is now considered to be a danger to society, thanks to evidence that his fantasies have bled into some actions in real life. No, he did not buy any duct tape or chloroform. But he took pictures of women of his acquaintance and shared it with like-minded cyber pals with ideas of what he would like to do to these women. His persistent queries over his wife's running route took on a sinister cast when it was discovered that he was preparing a menu featuring her as the main course.
So where do we draw the line between what we can safely fantasise and becoming a real threat to society? Minority Report, much?
If you fantasise too much, Tom Cruise will come and get you. A real horror for non Tom fans.
The revelation of child sexual abuse by the clergy and in orphanage or juvenile delinquent institutions the world over as well more reports daily about children sexually abused by their family members have gotten people up in arms and paranoid about child molesters. In the Western countries, there are sexual predators lists made available to the public and websites where you can check if you got sex offenders (particularly those who prey on children) in your neighbourhood.
Law enforcement take sexual predators of children very seriously. Many have a specific group working to identify and capture paedophiles. It is admirable and heartbreaking work as there are many children who are still injured despite their efforts. But should Lolita fantasists be penalised for their fantasy? Rachel Aviv reported the slippery slope that landed John, a military veteran unable to connect with women of his age who sought refuge in fantasising about sex with young girls, in prison.
His addiction to hardcore pornography featuring young girls being abused has led him to a sting operation that exposed him as a possible sexual offender. I found it disturbing that he could look at those pictures and get aroused, not seeing them as victims or empathising with their pain and trauma. Most child pornography are created illicitly by the abusers, unlike mainstream(?) porn featuring adults who consent (mostly) to the acts that are committed on celluloid (or digitised in these days). This dissociativeness is not unusual among hardcore porn consumers; the images are just pictures, not real people to them. Porn rewires your neural pathways for gratification; it keeps consumers going for greater kinkiness because they can no longer get off with plain vanilla sex.
Many would say that if the law enforcers did not entrap him, John is highly unlikely to act on his fantasies. After all, the man still knows right from wrong and is aware that his fetish is illegal. He had not abused any girls; most of his sexual encounters were with prostitutes. But would his fantasies have just remained on his desktop computer and not getting him to purchase an airline ticket to a holiday destination that is known to offer child sex workers? We will never know.
It is a great leap from watching porn to actually committing the acts you watch, true. Just like millions who play Grand Theft Auto never go on shooting sprees. The Internet is a wonderful tool to connect with other people who share similar ideas and engage them in role-plays and fantasies. However, it is incredibly sad that a man who had served in the military, considered a competent man in his area of expertise but was so crippled by his poor social skills that he attempted to find a sense of belonging among such a dastardly community.
Therefore, when the fodder of your fantasy tends to be the kind that WILL land you in prison, you have to be extra careful about committing acts that can be construed as turning your fantasies into reality. Or you could be like John, behind bars for the better part of twelve years without even living out his fantasy.
Saturday, March 23, 2013
Pornography is to sex ...
... what McDonalds is to food.
An examination of pornography as industrialisation of sex and how it feeds toxic masculinity that actively participates in the vicious cycle of victimisation and sexual violence.
Oh dear ...
An examination of pornography as industrialisation of sex and how it feeds toxic masculinity that actively participates in the vicious cycle of victimisation and sexual violence.
Oh dear ...
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