Stupendous!

The strength it takes to make this look effortless is stupefying. Wonderful interpretation of the tango via the titillating pole dance.

Word play

satispassion 

Atonement by an adequate degree of suffering.

To make up for calling his girlfriend's pet beaver a rug rat, Owen paid for and sat through a Lady Gaga concert and considered this an act of satispassion.

 satisdiction

Saying enough.

Henry's mother-in-law is a fan of hour long satisdiction over his inadequacies as her daughter's mate.

tongueman

A speaker, an orator.

Lily was disappointed that her boyfriend's claim to be an expert tongueman was from his Toastmaster's Club efforts, not from anything else.

obscenometer (n.)

An imaginary instrument for measuring the degree of indecency in something.

Mrs Pruneworthy's obscenometer broke after viewing her son's Internet cache.

Monday madness

Just to properly mourn the weekend. IDRK.

Psychopathic, much?

Older, not necessarily wiser

Better living through chemistry, I always say. Scientific and pharmacological progress can help rewind the clock and reinvigorate the limp flesh. No other drug has been enthusiastically lauded and celebrated as the (in)famous little blue pills that made gazillions for pharmaceutical giant, Pfizer.

It is said that Viagra (alongside its brethren Cialis, Levithra etc.) has now changed the sexual landscape worldwide. The little blue pills allow older men to hold on to younger partners as well as contribute to a growing population of swingers.

Frankly, I believe in live and let live. Your body is a temple; worship it, do whatever you want with it. After all, the human condition focusses a lot on pleasure seeking activities; whatever it was that crank your engine, be it illegal pharmaceuticals, adrenaline or even pain.

However, studies have shown that the sexual landscape sculpted by the little blue pills include a rise in sexually transmittable diseases (STDs) among the older population. One study actually demonstrated a link between men who take erectile dysfunction drugs and STDs. Another showed that middle aged swingers are at higher risks of STDs infection.

Previously studies on sexually transmittable diseases are focussed on populations who practice risky sexual behaviours (teenagers, sex workers, men who have sex with men), now it is the parents and grandparents who are more likely to come down with the clap. Is it because they are no longer concerned about pregnancy they leave off using rubbers?

*rolls eyes*

New agrarian economy?

Apparently, the Canadian government reaps roughly C$20 billion a year from weed. That's right, peeps; selling TWENTY BILLION CANADIAN DOLLARS worth of marijuana to their southern neighbour annually, providing employment to near a quarter million citizens.

Who said agriculture is not profitable?

Biggest reason why I like my animals stuffed

Pets are a source of pain. Enough said.

Ingenious!

I am in awe of this guy's creativity. I wonder how much did it cost for him to transform his apartment *admires*

ETA: Post title spelling corrected from "ingenuous". Pardon the spelling fail. *headdesk*

The little grey cells are NOT for decorative purposes only

New nomination for the Darwin's Award: the guy who died in a sauna competition.

I mean, c'mon.You steam a guy like dumpling and see who cries chicken first. Like, WTF? You are elevating your core body temperature, dammit, never a good thing.

They've had the competition for some time already, yeah, (and presumably no one died) but it was just testing fate. A sauna is not meant to be a he-man test; if you want one of those, go swim in an ice floe.

No wonder men die early. They die of stupidity.

Scientists say the darndest things

Many people become scientists because they have a passion for finding answers. Me, I'm okay with other people doing the work and me being told the answer. I guess I'm just lazy.

But what are the burning questions that are being answered courtesy of your
hard-earned tax-payers' money?

1. That male ducks outstrip the Homo sapien variety in terms of sexual appendages.
    a)  The male duck penis can change shapes (giving new meaning to screwing).
    b) The male duck penis can grow 25% larger than normal during mating season (guys, forget those pumps and enhancers; you are a confirmed loser in the evolutionary battle for larger you-know-whats).

2. That it is easy to break up with your now-insignificant other via Facebook (text messages and phone calls? phbllltt. So yesterday).

3. That to measure courage in terms of brain activity, one can make people with ophidophobia bring a snake close to their face while they are stuck in the MRI machine (and get published in a high impact journal, yo).

4.  That you can measure boredom (and get funded by the military to do so).

5. That you can teach a monkey to floss (and have better oral hygiene than most Homo sapien).


Monkeys teach young to floss their teeth using human hairs
Uploaded by ITN. - Watch more comedy videos and sitcoms.

6. That you can frame someone for a crime using synthetic DNA (forget what you see on CSI; please remember that it *is* a television show).

And the list just goes on ....