Friday, November 26, 2010

Why you should not emulate pornography

When I teach the reproductive health segment of my class in Healthcare Management, I urge my students to remember that porn is fantasy; imitating them could be hazardous to your health. After all, when you get down to do the nasty with your partner, you are unlikely to have an attending physician to deal with potential injury or to give prophylactic painkiller the way they do in professional porn shoots.

The kids are dumbfounded when I tell them that watching porn can be akin to watching a Superman movie. Hello? Scripted movie with directors telling them where to put what and how long a thrusting time to perpetrate etc. *rolls eyes*

For those who does not wish to contract chlamydial conjunctivitis (an eye infection) from sex, avoid getting facials, will ya?



Anonymous said...

My wife's aunt once advised my wife (who was not my wife at the time) that watching porn is required if not essential for newlyweds. Y'know, for tips.

No, I didn't take her advice when I married her niece. I don't need tips, know what I'm saying? *walks away like a two-bit gangsta*

Wait...they get painkillers on porn film sets?

Snuze said...

Your wife's aunt is scary. In an awesome way.

With the stuff that you devour in your reading habits, porn would just be a meh contributor to your body of knowledge. *whistles gangsta anthem*

Yes, the have painkillers on porn film set. At least, they do in the US of A. Some of the acts they perpetrate are uncomfortable or even downright injurious; hence the anaesthesia. Also one of the reasons why a large number of porn actors are addicted to pain meds.

The scary Eastern European ones ... I don't know. I do hope so. *shudder*

CremeBrulee said...

I thought I knew porn. But I suspect I might be in the presence of a true connoisseur. These scary European films that you speak of, you wouldn't happen to have them would you? For science, of course.

I was just checking out comments on my blog, and read about your take on chicks digging mysterious guys and decided to jump to the conclusion that you might be somewhat of an expert in such matters of the pursuit of women (or at least experter than I) and it might in fact be to my advantage to make myself more familiar with yourself. Pleased to be of acquaintance, good Sir!

And did you mean what you said about the "Plot Twist"? I suppose it might be interesting to write that story.

Also, why do you know about chlamydial conjunctivitis? Your depravity knows no bounds! Good work. Carry on.

CremeBrulee said...

I suppose I should have checked your profile before jumping to my earlier conclusions. You, it would seem, are a member of the fairer sex. My apologies if you aren't the purveyor of perversity as I initially thought. Your number, if you are. ;)

Snuze said...

The most delectable of dessert, Mssr. CremeBrulee,

I would be delighted if you were to expand on Linda's story; please say there will be moar. *anticipates*

My knowledge about chlamydial conjunctivitis comes from the fact that I am a nerd of not-quite the nth degree (I cheat: I get weekly newsletter from Medscape).

Would that I am a purveyor of such depravity that is the Eastern European porn. Alas, I am only as good as the Google machina.