One liners

1.My husband and I divorced over religious differences.

He thought he was God and I didn't!

2.I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

3. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

5. Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.

6. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

7. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

8. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

9. I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are just missing.

10.Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

11. God must love stupid people; he made so many.

12. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

13. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

14. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

15. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!

16. Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to be when I grew up.

17. Procrastinate Now!

18. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

19.A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.

20. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!

21.He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.

22.A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand
times the memory.

23. Ham and eggs ... a day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment
for a pig.

24. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.

25. I smile because I don't know what the heck is going on.

It should be obvious, but it isn't.

Quoting from BetsyPhD (winner of this week's Who's Shoes in Manoloshoeblog):

Science reagent company websites make me want to shoot myself. If you want people to get info on your website, TRY PUTTING IT THERE.

This means YOU, YOU and YOU.

Midweek shits and giggles

Some gentle reminders:

1) If you’re going to read naked in bed, position yourself so that the probability of a boob paper cut is low.

2) When taking your child’s cough syrup, do not assume that because you weigh four times as much as he does that you need four times as much medicine.

3)When holding your hamster above your head to check the sex, be sure to keep your mouth firmly shut. Hamster poo pellets are fast and hamsters have surprisingly good aim.

4) When spending the night at a girlfriend’s and there’s no bedside lamp, grab the flashlight out of the drawer. If, when you turn the switch, it starts shaking violently but the beam doesn’t come on, whacking it against the wall repeatedly will *not* make it light up.

5) When getting experimental in the bedroom with a loved one, it’s good to find out what he might have a food allergy to before buying coconut flavored massage oil and rubbing it all over his junk. Unless you enjoy him screaming while you drive him to the ER with a red swollen twig and berries.

6) If the water slide attendant instructs you to cross your legs before taking the 9 story vertical plunge, do it unless you WANT a 75mph enema that makes you taste breakfast from 2 months earlier.

... and finally ...

7) Saying you did something for the lulz does not hold up in a court of law.

Porn is good for you?

I was watching a talk show on television with my Dad a couple of nights ago. It was an interview with Datuk Seri Dr Rais Yatim; he expounded at great length why we need censorship more than ever in this world of borderless media. It was the usual old guards rant against pornography and assorted "yellow culture" that is polluting the tender minds of Malaysian youngsters.

Since my father wouldn't surrender the remote control, he had to put up with my snarky commentaries in the background. *grin*

The thing is, even if you're the Chinese government, it is downright impossible to filter the information that travels through your fibreoptic lines. Let's also face the fact that as youngsters grew more techno-savvy and interfaces with the computer like a duck to water, they will find ways to overcome all this ridiculous filters to watch and read and listen to all these things that the authorities deem as unsuitable.

You'd have better luck stopping the tsunami with a bucket.

I think it is better that we give the people (cause not only young people who can kick teh interweb's ass) some credit. Just because one enjoys listening to Cannibal Corpse or Morbid Angel, doesn't mean one will creep into a mortuary and shag any corpse that caught one's fancy. It could be;

a) that person genuinely enjoys thrash metal and killer guitar riffs, or
b) that person just wants the shock and awe value of being a fan of a death metal band.

Whatever.

This article by Milton Diamond in The Scientist gave me the inspiration for the title of this post. In essence, he said that pornography may lead to reduction in sex-related crime (see the original article). Hmm ... interesting. Displacing sexual aggression and suppressing desire = less crime. However, there are other reports that says otherwise.

Diamond contends that exposure to porn PLUS a strict, repressive religious upbringing correlates highly with sex offense. I have an Egyptian friend who claims that men to whom the female body is not a mystery tends to be more tolerant in view of women and their position in society. Apparently, this thought is also supported by Diamond who says that

"... men who had seen X-rated movies found that they were significantly more tolerant and accepting of women than those men who didn’t see those movies, and studies by other investigators—female as well as male—essentially found similarly that there was no detectable relationship between the amount of exposure to pornography and any measure of misogynist attitudes."

Frankly, I believe that if you have no respect for another human being, perpetrating the heinous assault that is rape is no big leap. Pornography may desensitise you and give you unrealistic ideas about sexual intercourse. Understanding sexuality and the issues related to it is more important towards cultivating a healthy attitude about sex and its associated intimacies.

So it is your attitude towards your fellow human beings that dictate your behaviour (criminal or otherwise), not what you choose to watch (or read or listen).

Read more: Porn: Good for us? - The Scientist - Magazine of the Life Sciences http://www.the-scientist.com/2010/3/1/29/1/#ixzz0h8reZKD6

Of all creatures tiny and microscopic

An ode to the dinoflagellates. This woman really knows her stuff and is really passionate about it.

There you have it. Science can make for fun and entertaining reading. Unless of course you are reading journal articles for your progress report or something like that. :p

Imprinting of the rainbow flag? Really?

There has been a lot of discussion over the cause of homosexuality. Many would prefer the biological explanation; if it is natural, then it is not wrong. These people delight in research that lent credibility to their arguments, primarily those dealing in the search for the "gay gene".

Well, just because something was researched "scientifically" it doesn't mean that it will be a truism. The scientific community is filled with debunked theories. JB Satinover elucidates why homosexuality is not easily explained away with genetics.

If someone actually could pinpoint a particular gene or gene clusters that "causes" homosexuality, will suppressing the gene make a gay individual straight? And if it does, is it ethical to do so or to force gay individuals to undergo said treatment?

Personally, I think it takes a whole lot of different factors that determines something as complex as a person's sexual orientation. For those who have no plans to stick to vanilla heterosexuality, the world is a jungle out there. Sometimes, things are not so black and white; there are many men who get married and still have male lovers on the side (same with women) who will not consider themselves as gay or bisexual. This is why reading the term MSM (men who have sex with men) used in infectious diseases and other medical journal makes me snerk.

(Mind you, I do believe that labelling or defining yourself by your sexuality / sexual orientation is doltish.)

I am, however, a fan of the environmental influence on a person's sexual orientation theory. While experimentation with the various flavours of sex can come from a person's sense of adventure, situation (e.g. living in boarding school) and curiosity, sexual and emotional attraction is a different kettle of fish altogether.

But no matter how much Holywood would like to romanticise homosexuality and making it sound normal and attractive (I have heard of idiots who claim or want to be gay because it is cool), it is still a thorny path to tread and fraught with challenges both emotional and social.

Tiger, tiger, burning bright ...

Everyone is jumping both feet down Tiger Wood's throat for being a rotten, cheating bastard. Frankly, I am surprised that it is only recently that this shit hit the fan for him.

However, I don't get why this is so. He's not the first athlete who cheated on his partner; check out Ashley Cole and Beckham. But because his PR people portrayed him as this regular Joe who is home-loving but could hit golf balls out into the orbit, people forget that he is exactly that: a regular Joe.

Let's face it: regular Joes cheat. Even those who don't earn eight figures annually cheat. Some says it's in men's DNA, but that's bullshit. Women cheat just as much as men (perhaps even more); it's just that they are more discreet about it.

This piece articulated my feelings about the whole Tiger Woods debacle.

And for those guys who think that their gf/wife would never cheat on them, read this and know fear.

*snerk*

OMG I do not know which competition this came from, but seriously ... whoa ...

Probably not safe for the workplace (unless you got your privacy). :p

Spearing your destiny

One of the longest post I've written here was a spleen venting on the sad state of the National Museum. However, I am pleased to see that things are a-changing, as evidenced by the new look to the Jabatan Muzium Malaysia's website and the multitude of exhibitions planned.

The list of museums under the Jabatan Muzium Malaysia is also quite impressive, something I am sure that many are unaware. However, this does not include the museums by the respective state governments and other institutions such as the Islamic Arts Museum under the AlBukhary Foundation. All in all, there are roughly 150 museums in total in Malaysia; from the government sponsored (federal and state), institutional or departmental (e.g the Muzium Seni Asia in Universiti Malaya) as well as private museums.

What cinched it for me was the Sg Lembing Museum of Mining in Pahang. A lovely bijou nestled in the highlands of Pahang, it documented the hey days of tin mining in Malaysia, but particularly of the state.

I had an opportunity to see it during a Kuantan family trip; a massive one comprising of 9 families to a total of 45 people.

The grand melee.

Sg Lembing was once the hub of tin mining in Pahang, boasting the deepest tin mine in the world. It is also the home of my uncle's in-laws, who kindly hosted us for a lovely morning tea. We took a moment to splash around in the deliciously cool waters of Sungai Kenau; its rich mineralised landscape evident in the colourful striations of the rocks and pebbles of the river.

Don't ask why is the Jeep resting in the river. I have no idea.

The museum is housed in what used to be the mining company manager's residence up on a steep slope of an already hilly country. Climbing up towards it was quite a challenge to some of the gang members hampered by less than ideal health condition.

The harmonious blend of colonial and local architecture, no?

The environment surrounding the museum was wonderfully landscaped to make the most of the undulating surface and the cool temperature of the highlands lent a vigor to the flowers.

Antique water tap?

Not as cool as Cameron Highlands, but delicious nonetheless.

It was documented by historians both local and foreign that tin mining has been a crucial element in the economy of the Malay states even way back during the Malacca sultanate. This means that tin mining was actively engaged in the Malay states even before the British colonialist wangled it into becoming the backbone of the British empire.

Some of the ledgers and cashbooks of the mining company.

The exhibit displayed implements used in the open mining and deep mining methods. The mining done in Sungai Lembing was the latter process, as the grounds made it impossible to have the open type mining more popular in the flatlands of Selangor and Perak. Those open mines brought about thousands of mining pools that have been converted to either aquaculture ponds or covered for commercial development.

Some scary looking instruments, yeah?

The old fashioned fire engine.

The dulang for the mendulang is actually made of wood.

The miners wore minimal clothing as the temperatures in the mines reached hellish proportions.

Tin that was extracted from the ground was processed nearby the mines for export purposes. Plating using tin made processed food production for long term storage possible in the 19th century, indirectly contributing to the economic domination of the Western powers. Today, tin is mostly used as solder, in the plastic industries and as anti-fouling agents. However, it was found that organotin compounds may have undesirable effects on the environment; hence its use is becoming more and more limited.

The granite containing tin ore.

Processed ore.

Jongkong timah. :D

Tin mining was done on mega scale by the British colonialists who brought in the Chinese coolies to work in the mines. I won't go into detail about the impact of this exercise upon the socioeconomy of the indigenous population here, but suffice to say that this changed the ethnic landscape of the Malay states dramatically. To this day, the Chinese community is very prominent in Sungai Lembing.

Lanterns to mark the lunar new year.

The managers of the mining company were usually from Great Britain. They lived in style here and some even brought their family over.

Old school trike.

Grand bedroom.

It was a pity that I didn't have much time to really go through the exhibits as I would have liked. I dawdled enough that my Mum rang me on my mobile to remind me to get down as everyone had left for lunch. There were so many more things to see; the diorama at the outside as well as other items placed outside the museum. Oh well, them's the breaks when you travel in a large group.

However, I must say that the museum was as finely appointed as the mining museum that I visited in the Blue Mountains while I was in Sydney last year. It gave me an appreciation of the impact tin mining had not only to the socioeconomy of the country but also how it contributed towards our subjugation by foreign powers. The museum brought to life a slice of history that was unbearably dry and unexciting when it was taught in school. I hope that more people make full use of the museums in the country to learn of where we came from so that we can chart where we are going next.

Days you hate to re-live