Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Saturday, March 17, 2012
The Drama of Childhood
The Mad Song
by Mr RogersWhat do you do with the mad that you feel?
When you feel so mad you could bite?
When the whole wide world feel oh so wrong
And nothing you seems very right
What do you do?
Do you punch a bag?
Do you pound some clay or some dough?
Do you round up friends for a game of tag?
Or you see how fast you'd go?
It's great to be able to stomp
When you've planted the thing that's wrong
And be able to do something else instead
And think this song
I can stomp when I want to
Can stomp when I wished
Can stomp! stomp! stomp! anytime
And what a good feeling to feel like this
And know that the feeling was really mine
Know that there's something deep inside
That helps us become what we can
For a girl to be someday a lady
And a boy can be someday a man
I had moments of being a very angry child. Don't ask me why; to this day I couldn't pinpoint the cause. The only thing good about it was I got it out of my system that by the time I was a teenager, I had no angst left. So I never bothered with any teenage rebellion.
I now realise that I lacked the vocabulary to express how I felt even though I read a lot. The books that I devoured was chockful of adventures and fun, but there was barely anything emotional. It would have been nice if I had a frame of reference for my feelings that I could actually understand, and it looked like children who had the opportunity to watch Mr Rogers in his neighbourhood, got this advantage.
Fortunately for me, my mother had an excellent collection of Reader's Digest with sections addressing good emotional and mental health and how to condition yourself to be a socially acceptable human being. Not to say that my family did not show me an excellent example for being a good person, it's just that I'm so thick that the lesson didn't penetrate well until in my 20's. And I'm still a work in progress.
So teach your kids to express themselves in a respectful and positive manner. It is a learned behaviour, just like courtesy.
Or spree killing at their high school.
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Monday, March 12, 2012
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Sisterhood, yo
It's the International Women's Day today!
We made grands strides in less than a century. Women can now vote, get an education (though many places still frown on educating the females), get a job, smash through the glass ceiling and CHOOSE to stay at home and raise their babies (it used to be terpaksa-rela or it-really-ain't-a-choice-sugar). It's good to be a woman in this age because we live longer and are less likely to die in childbirth (unless you live in Afghanistan, Chad or something). And we have more opportunities than our grandmothers and great grandmothers, and all this changes over a mere two generations (barely three weeks if you are a fruit fly), at least for the women in Malaysia.
But we are still crippled by body image issues; trading corsets (yes, in Asia, we wore bengkung) for anorexia, the white ones burn themselves in the sun or in salons, the darker ones peel their skin with harmful chemicals to become fairer. We still earn less than men while working twice as hard, still get stuck with more household chores than our partner (maybe not an issue for lesbian couples, *LOL*), and we are expected to remain a virgin on our wedding nights when the men get approving thumps on their back for being a lothario. Our days off are not necessarily days off like a man would describe it and in fair weather or foul, the expectations on us don't change.
We are still not in control of the decisions to be made on our body. In the US, the Congressional hearing on contraception was a panel of men; so yeah, they know so well about a woman's reality about birth control and abortion *rolls eyes*. Did they not think that supporting the former means reducing the need for the latter? What with global warming and the stress of accommodating the needs of a burgeoning world population, having children in a more judicious manner is only logical.
Our clothes remain a hot topic for everyone, whether one wears too much or too little. Frankly, I believe that a woman has a right to choose whether she wants to wear a bikini or a burqa. Women's clothing has been an issue of contention at political and social level, as though the what we wear is the fabric of the society. Face it: the real major causes of social ills are poverty, lack of access to education and opportunity, lack of respect and empathy to fellow humans (and non-humans) as well as greed.
NOTHING TO DO WITH WHAT WE WEAR OR DON'T WEAR.
A few historians and sociologists remarked that civilisations begin to decline when the society begin to segregate women from the rest of society (reference here and Fatima Mernissi's wonderful books Women and Islam: an Historical and Theological Inquiry as well as Islam and Democracy: Fear of the Modern World). In an attempt to attain purity, maintain "honour" and satisfy false masculine pride, women are isolated from the rest of society, denied rights of basic citizenship (e.g. their children not given citizenship status if their partner are foreigners) and denigrated as a human being (i.e. when violence against women is condoned by the society).
Women still don't get much respect: we get blamed when we get raped, we are the first to be economically marginalised when the country's financial system experience a meltdown, women's worthiness are still judged by their youth and looks and in any social crisis, women are among the first and most consistent victims.
Hence, inasmuch as we made leaps and progress towards improving the lot of women in this world, there are still plenty that needs to be fixed. For some society, the progression is remarkable and heartening, for some, social conditioning and culture made change a lot harder. We must never lose faith, ladies, but rather continue to work towards evolving our world to a more just and harmonious place. Not just for women, but for everyone.
We made grands strides in less than a century. Women can now vote, get an education (though many places still frown on educating the females), get a job, smash through the glass ceiling and CHOOSE to stay at home and raise their babies (it used to be terpaksa-rela or it-really-ain't-a-choice-sugar). It's good to be a woman in this age because we live longer and are less likely to die in childbirth (unless you live in Afghanistan, Chad or something). And we have more opportunities than our grandmothers and great grandmothers, and all this changes over a mere two generations (barely three weeks if you are a fruit fly), at least for the women in Malaysia.
But we are still crippled by body image issues; trading corsets (yes, in Asia, we wore bengkung) for anorexia, the white ones burn themselves in the sun or in salons, the darker ones peel their skin with harmful chemicals to become fairer. We still earn less than men while working twice as hard, still get stuck with more household chores than our partner (maybe not an issue for lesbian couples, *LOL*), and we are expected to remain a virgin on our wedding nights when the men get approving thumps on their back for being a lothario. Our days off are not necessarily days off like a man would describe it and in fair weather or foul, the expectations on us don't change.
We are still not in control of the decisions to be made on our body. In the US, the Congressional hearing on contraception was a panel of men; so yeah, they know so well about a woman's reality about birth control and abortion *rolls eyes*. Did they not think that supporting the former means reducing the need for the latter? What with global warming and the stress of accommodating the needs of a burgeoning world population, having children in a more judicious manner is only logical.
NOTHING TO DO WITH WHAT WE WEAR OR DON'T WEAR.
A few historians and sociologists remarked that civilisations begin to decline when the society begin to segregate women from the rest of society (reference here and Fatima Mernissi's wonderful books Women and Islam: an Historical and Theological Inquiry as well as Islam and Democracy: Fear of the Modern World). In an attempt to attain purity, maintain "honour" and satisfy false masculine pride, women are isolated from the rest of society, denied rights of basic citizenship (e.g. their children not given citizenship status if their partner are foreigners) and denigrated as a human being (i.e. when violence against women is condoned by the society).
Women still don't get much respect: we get blamed when we get raped, we are the first to be economically marginalised when the country's financial system experience a meltdown, women's worthiness are still judged by their youth and looks and in any social crisis, women are among the first and most consistent victims.
Hence, inasmuch as we made leaps and progress towards improving the lot of women in this world, there are still plenty that needs to be fixed. For some society, the progression is remarkable and heartening, for some, social conditioning and culture made change a lot harder. We must never lose faith, ladies, but rather continue to work towards evolving our world to a more just and harmonious place. Not just for women, but for everyone.
Books read: week 10
I have a habit of re-reading books, especially those I love (like this one and the second one in this list) that it slowed down the number of books that I devour.
1. Guilty Pleasures by Laura Lee Guhrke
Hero: 3/5 stars
Heroine: 2/5 stars
Storyline: 4/5 stars
Pacing: 3/5 stars
Fun Factor: 2/5 stars
Repeat Reading Factor: 1/5 stars
I heard good stuff about Ms Guhrke and she was recced to me by a friend on Goodreads. I really want to like her books, I do. After all, I need new authors to follow to feed my insatiable reading habit. Alas, though the premise was interesting, the follow through was disappointing. The hero was okay to me, but when the heroine suddenly devolved into this fishwife after being no more exciting than a doormat, the book just lost its lustre for me. The bits that pulled the heroine's bacon out of the fire was a bit too pat for my taste, but in the absence of other readables (and the fact that I forked out money to rent it), I consumed it till the end.
2. Red-Headed Stepchild by Jaye Wells
Hero: 3/5 stars
Heroine: 3/5 stars
Storyline: 3/5 stars
Pacing: 3/5 stars
Fun Factor: 3/5 stars
Repeat Reading Factor: 1/5 stars
Again, another recced author. Premise was all right, lousy follow through and the development of characters and plots were meh. Pity since she is quite prolific.
*sigh*
3. Set the Dark on Fire by Jill Sorenson
Hero: 5/5 stars
Heroine: 5/5 stars
Storyline: 4/5 stars
Pacing: 4/5 stars
Fun Factor: 5/5 stars
Repeat Reading Factor: 3/5 stars
This book was a pleasant surprise. I picked it up because I had a few more bucks of rental money, but it was a nicely constructed book with interesting characters and great plot development. I adore how "real" the characters were, flawed and yet still striving to do the right thing.
It was a little disconcerting in places because of the shifting POVs, but once you kept track of the major players, it was a breeze. The character interactions were fluid and realistic, the imagery crisp and descriptive that you feel the head of the dry lands of south east California.
I will look for her other works next time.
4. Kiss at Midnight by Eloisa James
Hero: 5/5 stars
Heroine: 5/5 stars
Storyline: 5/5 stars
Pacing: 4/5 stars
Fun Factor: 5/5 stars
Repeat Reading Factor: 4/5 stars
This book is a reinterpretation of the classic Cinderella tale, except that this time around, the heroine doesn't wait around waiting to be rescued. Oh, and the prince wasn't really that charming.
Great banter, great characters, great plotting.
I hope that the butler gets his own story too.
5. Blood Royal by Jonathan Green
Hero: 3/5 stars
Storyline: 4/5 stars
Pacing: 4/5 stars
Fun Factor: 3/5 stars
Repeat Reading Factor: 1/5 stars
6. Red Pyramid by Rick Riordan
Protagonists: 5/5 stars
Storyline: 4/5 stars
Pacing: 5/5 stars
Fun Factor: 4/5 stars
Repeat Reading Factor: 3/5 stars
Now, to find book number two ...
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Friday, March 2, 2012
TGIF
(Under cut for massive NSFW pictures)
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
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