Creative, but ...

... decapitating yourself using the tractor loader possibly isn't how Caterpillar envisioned the use of their machinery.

Oh boy.

How do you mend a broken heart?

Chocolates? Alcohol? Beating up some unsuspecting stranger/not-stranger (literally or figuratively)?

Phhbbbttt ... so old school.

If you want to go for the most cutting edge measure, you gotta go the stem cell way.


How do you mend a broken heart? (Full version) from British Heart Foundation on Vimeo.

On the other hand, setting the property belonging to the person who broke your heart on fire may also help. However, make sure that you either have a good lawyer on your side or that you can't be caught.

*grin*

Stuff that makes you apoplectic

Apoplexy is a very popular word in historical romances (one of the genres that I devour like a chocoholic inhales Godiva). Some guardian/father/members of nobility/etc will be in an apoplectic fit over the harum scarum adventures of our intrepid hero/heroine. Apoplexy can also mean stroke, which is one of the major causes of death and disability the world over.

Hence, it behooves us to know what can cause stroke and make sure we reduce our risk factor as much as possible. The usual ones are quit smoking, maintain a healthy weight, etc etc, but do you know what are the most common activities that leads to an apoplectic fit?

Drinking coffee. Sex. Being angry.

Straining while on the porcelaine throne (aka straining to shit). Blowing your nose. Shock.

The poor snow leopard could have had a stroke!

Don't believe me? Read it here.

This means that if you want to live longer, don't have sex, eat lots of fibre and keep your mucus to yourself.

Valentine's Revenge

Valentine's Day is not just about lovers reconnecting with one another. It could also provide an excuse for the lovelorn to drive down to the love shack to get some.

But one should also be careful to protect oneself to avoid the fate that inspired this song.



Also, if you are a gentleman trapped in a mine with a few dozen another men (or any on a seafaring vessel, or an oilrig, WHATEVER), try not to share the inflated doll that is made available. It is safer to stick to sudoku.

When your body hates you

Fever, runny nose, extreme fatigue and burning eyes.

Sounds pretty normal when spring fever hits or you are laid low by the 'flu, yes?
 
But what if this is because a guy is allergic to his own sperm?

That's right. Those baby-making drops can make a guy sick, even if it is his own ejaculate. Marcel Waldinger and his colleagues of Utrecht University reported of men who developed 'flu-like symptoms after ejaculating/orgasm. Luckily enough, it is a rare illness and can be treated by injecting themselves with their own semen (diluted, natch) over a period of time.

That's right. The only way for these men to keep from having to blow their nose after blowing their load is to inject their own little swimmers into their vein. I doubt they get much of a high from that, but hey, whatever works, right?

The small slam syndrome

If you want to know what it means, read this paper. It's one of the reasons why I am grateful I am not a male.

And guys, if you have an urge to do manly home improvement stuff, dispose of the flammable stuff properly before snuffing out your cigarettes. Your buttcheeks will thank you.

Why you should not emulate pornography

When I teach the reproductive health segment of my class in Healthcare Management, I urge my students to remember that porn is fantasy; imitating them could be hazardous to your health. After all, when you get down to do the nasty with your partner, you are unlikely to have an attending physician to deal with potential injury or to give prophylactic painkiller the way they do in professional porn shoots.

The kids are dumbfounded when I tell them that watching porn can be akin to watching a Superman movie. Hello? Scripted movie with directors telling them where to put what and how long a thrusting time to perpetrate etc. *rolls eyes*

For those who does not wish to contract chlamydial conjunctivitis (an eye infection) from sex, avoid getting facials, will ya?

*sigh*

The cowboy movies and story books got it right ...

Whiskey does kill the pain. And according to this guy, it is a viable alternative to morphine for chronic pain.


Does that mean bottoms up? IDEK.

Ear candy in surgery

Medicine is srs biznez, yo. But does it mean you can't kick back and have fun? Of course not.

Enjoy the Laryngologists spoofing Breaking Up is Hard to Do, nurse anaesthetist style.



While we are in the medical vein, we must not forget Weird Al Yankovich's parody of Madge's eponymous hit, Like A Virgin.

Except with surgeons. Pray to God you don't get one of these guys should you need to go under the knife.

Older, not necessarily wiser

Better living through chemistry, I always say. Scientific and pharmacological progress can help rewind the clock and reinvigorate the limp flesh. No other drug has been enthusiastically lauded and celebrated as the (in)famous little blue pills that made gazillions for pharmaceutical giant, Pfizer.

It is said that Viagra (alongside its brethren Cialis, Levithra etc.) has now changed the sexual landscape worldwide. The little blue pills allow older men to hold on to younger partners as well as contribute to a growing population of swingers.

Frankly, I believe in live and let live. Your body is a temple; worship it, do whatever you want with it. After all, the human condition focusses a lot on pleasure seeking activities; whatever it was that crank your engine, be it illegal pharmaceuticals, adrenaline or even pain.

However, studies have shown that the sexual landscape sculpted by the little blue pills include a rise in sexually transmittable diseases (STDs) among the older population. One study actually demonstrated a link between men who take erectile dysfunction drugs and STDs. Another showed that middle aged swingers are at higher risks of STDs infection.

Previously studies on sexually transmittable diseases are focussed on populations who practice risky sexual behaviours (teenagers, sex workers, men who have sex with men), now it is the parents and grandparents who are more likely to come down with the clap. Is it because they are no longer concerned about pregnancy they leave off using rubbers?

*rolls eyes*

Battle of the Bulge

I don't think I have ever met anyone, male or female, who is happy about their weight, regardless of their appearance. But for those who wants to lose weight and is a believer of better living through chemistry (i.e. drugs is the only way to go!), you gotta face up that the meds are just not gonna cut it.

Report of the the latest three weight loss drugs to hit the market seems to be on the ho hum side, irrespective of the so-called obesity epidemic. One drug makes you goofy and forgetful, while the other gives you a bad taste in the mouth. Literally.

Like as not, there are no shortcuts to weight loss.

Bummer.

Existential medicine

Good news, everybody!

Apparently, hallucinogens can be good for you. However, there are caveats.

Whatever. Time to harvest my 'shrooms.

*pops a few acid before heading out*

Tick tock

Many people are surprised when I say that I don't hear my biological clock ticking. Just because I am a female above a certain age who is unmarried and obviously not going forth and multiplying. Does possession of mammary glands mean that one is destined to chase for motherhood at all cost?

Being married doesn't mean that one will be a parent. It can be a choice (yes, there are people who do not want children) or not. For the latter, well-meaning acquaintances (and family who should know better) often pour acid upon the gaping wound by asking (pointedly and otherwise), "When are you gonna have children?"

I have decided to never ask a married person that question; having known some couples who try so hard and still not blessed with rugrats. Having snide comments about your fertility and queries of family planning (what business is it of yours, seriously?) is very painful and embarrassing. So if you fall into the nosy and tactless category, please, rethink what you want to say and when you want to say it.

It seems easy to say adoption should be the way to go for those not blessed, but not very many people are willing and/or able to love children who is not their flesh and blood. It can boil down to an evolutionary imperative, but sometimes you just don't have that kind of love. It's not a bad thing, but we should be honest because adoption isn't like the mail; there is no return to sender.

A little non-sequitur, but ...

Why not adopt an embryo instead?

(Okay, fine ... I can't figure out a better segue, so sue me)

You can track down the family history of your child and even have an extended family for him/her if you want (Canada practices open adoption). Of course, it will open a whole can of worms later on (what if the adoptive parent(s) die? Must the biological parents take up responsibility?) but I think it can be a logical solution. The mother and father can bond over the child during the pregnancy and it is very clear that the child is not theirs genetically but can be theirs in every other way possible.

It is definitely a logical solution for unmarried Muslim women who wants to have children and also experience being pregnant. They can't go for the turkey baster method as it is haram (forbidden) to have children with men with whom they are not married (i.e. the sperm donor). However, here is a chance for you to adopt a child and enjoy the pregnancy experience to boot.

So, what are you waiting for?

Unplugged

When it comes to making medical decisions, things are rarely black and white. There are laws regulating actions and also people's opinion to be considered before anything is done.

When I first read about baby Isaiah May, I was thinking: perhaps pulling the plug on a child who has permanent brain damage isn't a bad thing. But you gotta consider the parents; you may say that they are young and could have other children, but this is their child one is considering to allow to die. How many parents can make the decision to end their offspring this way when the baby has shown so much in the face of negativity?

Then there will be voices saying, "Who'll be footing the bill for the baby to be placed on ventilation? Should you spend precious resources on a child who may not survive his first year or on another baby who has got a better fighting chance?" It appears that the young parents are not financially well-off; most likely the government is paying for the treatment. Does this mean that children of poor people have less value than the children of those who can afford the care?

Decisions, decisions. I wouldn't want to be the hospital administrator in this issue.

However, I was appalled that the doctors allowed the mother to suffer 40 freakin' hours of labour . It's a miracle she still had the energy to push. Which also brings to mind, why on earth wasn't the foetus monitored for distress? Surely the foetus would have exhibited some kind of distress with the umbilical cord strangling him while he's trying to make way for the exit? When my sister was in labour for barely 4 hours, they monitored the foetus constantly and when the foetus showed signs of distress, she was immediately whisked into the operation theatre for a Caesarean procedure.

On top of that, isn't it common procedure for the foetus to be extracted via C-section when the labour is prolonged? Surely one of the biggest reason the labour took so long is because the baby is choking on the cord and couldn't get out. Is anyone looking at this hideous oversight / poor policy in the labour ward that caused the poor child and his parents so much suffering?

Why can't we have it all?

The happy fog induced by marijuana is nothing but a fond memory if Sanofi-Aventis has their way. They are working on an endocannabinoid receptor blocker that has shown interesting result in reducing the blood sugar of diabetics who have poor sugar control. The numbers look really good; it also helps that the drug also improves the patient's lipid profile (better triglyceride, HDL, LDL levels) and most importantly: reduces the waistline.

Unfortunately, if you are depressed to begin with, you may feel suicidal.

So yeah, trimmer waistline may correspond with a greater need for Xanax.

Who's your daddy?

Depending on your intonation and inflection, the phrase above could be either:

a) an innocent inquiry, or
b) an invitation to violence, or
c) taunting someone after pwning to the nth degree.

In the common parlance, (c) is commonly the favoured answer. But option (a) can be quite the booby trap, snapping steel-trap jaws on the unwary.

Sperm donation has made possible many infertile couples to have children. It has also allowed single women to have biological children as well. Once upon a time, sperm donations were relatively anonymous: all a donor had to do is fill up a questionnaire regarding his health and education and off he goes produce the desired fluid in privacy (with the help of a handy visual aid or two). Most fertility centre pay these men for their time (and specimen!), making it particularly an attractive way for college-age men to afford the weekend beer.

As more awareness of the ethical considerations of this issue surface, more stringent regulations are put into place to control assisted reproduction technology. Many countries, particularly in Europe and United States are no longer allowing anonymous donation, driving down the number of sperm donors. Lack of anonymity renders them vulnerable to unwanted contact with their offspring and even potential financial assistance demand. There are a number of donors who are categorised as open donors; i.e. they are alright to being approached by their offspring after they reached 18. However, their numbers are relatively small.

So what is your obligation to your gamete? Your donation has made a child, a person of his/her own right. Someone who is genetically linked to you. Whether or not you have any kind of relationship with the mother, or even know who she is, the child is half yours; 50% of the child's chromosomes come from you. That in itself means that you have a moral obligation to play a role in the child's life.

Women who get pregnant (either planned pregnancy or otherwise) are expected to want their children and to take care of them until they mature. Therefore women are expected to bear the burden of their fecundity by default. So why is it women who opted to terminate their pregnancy (without it being a health risk) are pilloried? Why are men exempted from this?

Many religions frown upon gamete donation. In muddies the relationship and lineage of inheritance. A number of people conceived via gamete donation has decided to look for their biological parent, hoping to fulfill some kind of emptiness from the lack of knowledge of their familial history. And as more women donate their eggs, there is the possibility that one day we will hear of people looking for their donor mothers.

By the way, if you think that sperm donation is only for the heathenish West, think again. We also have them in Malaysia. *snicker*

Cleanliness is next to Godliness

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

So remember to wash your hands often!

Rapping for Public Health

The world is anticipating the second wave of H1N1 to bitchslap us during the final quarter of 2009. How well prepared are you to face it? Do you know how to protect yourself? Do you know how to prepare your family?

If you want some pointers, watch this guy.



That was John D. Clarke, MD, FAAFP. Who says that all doctors are nerdy?

De Nial; not just a river in Egypt.

My child is not fat.

Of course not.

(It's all right, dear. You just have big bones.)

I find it interesting that boys are often misclassified according to the study.

(Give him the third helping. He's a growing boy.)

Is it because boys are oftentimes more coddled than girls, particularly among the non-whites? Let's not start on the Asian take on the wonderfulness of boy children; that can be a rant for another day.

(Leave the plate on the table, baby. Your sister will take it to the kitchen later.)

Or is it because girls are expected to be slender and pretty, even from young? Apparently, Barbie has cankles and Christian Louboutin wants none of this. Man, if the ideal figure of (plastic?) the female shape is imperfect, what hope is there for the rest of us?

Oh, dear.

Bleeding for (a) good (cause)?

I have heard of people who are addicted to blood donation. I never thought that I could be one of them. I have always found the experience to be enjoyable; a comfy chair, a book in hand, nice, soft hands petting your arm to coax the life-giving elixir out ...

Why aren't more people doing it?

*ponders*