Are You Lonesome Tonight?

If you are a Net addict (or someone who spends roughly 1/3 of his/her waking hours online), I'll bet you never said or even thought that you are lonely. After all, you are not: you have over a zillion friends on Facebook, people leave you messages on your wall, leave gifts, send music etc.

For some people, admitting loneliness is akin to telling your Boss that you're schizophrenic. It is something terrible and embarrassing. There has to be something wrong with you if you are lonely: don't you know how to make friends? What happened to the best mates in uni/school/last hell hole (aka workplace) that you were so tight with? And if you are not married, then it's your fault for being lonely; so choosy one lah ... and so on.

The thing is, you can have people leaving messages on your Facebook wall every day and be lonely. You could lie in bed with the love of your life (or so you thought when you married him/her) and ache with loneliness. You can work in an environment filled with people who talk to you and still be miserably alone.

Is it a state of mind or a state of being? Can one grimly resolve to not be lonely and fill one's life with activities and people? Does that work? Or do you accept that it is your fate, down all the painkiller in your medicine cabinet and slit your wrist for good measure?

Apparently, loneliness is not something you can pooh-pooh at and sweep under the carpet. It affects you,: body, mind and soul. This article definitely makes you contemplate your state of aloneness.

But like Sartre (I think) said, "Hell is other people."

*snerk*

My Body is a Wonderland? Yes.

When you look in the mirror, do you like what you see? Or, like me, you take off your glasses and smile mistily at the fuzzy figure before you? A great deal of our self esteem is tied up with our body; say what you will about building personality and a fine crafted mind, we would all trade our Einstein-like genius for satiny smooth skin and trimmer waistline.

But should our hang ups of our body get in the way of our enjoyment of it? I say, NO. We are fed with airbrushed images daily of what we should look like. We are made to be unnecessarily critical of our physical self, that we are not good enough if we don't look like a fifteen year-old nymph/youth. We forget to enjoy our health and grace because we are too busy whining over what we think is wrong with ourselves.

The hell with all of that. Celebrate your senses. Stroke your skin and feel how delicious it is. Your limbs so well-shaped to support you and for you to enjoy your world. Taste. Listen. Observe. Reclaim your sexuality. What ever shape or colour you are, you have every right to enjoy the feast that is your senses.

So go forth, reach out and touch somebody.

A Nail that Sticks Out, Gets Hammered

I remembered that quote from Tokyo Drift, the 3rd of the Fast & Furious franchise that launched Vin Diesel into the stratosphere of stardom. The father of the protagonist quoted the Japanese saying in hopes of getting his son to keep his head down, nose clean and no getting into trouble.

But what if keeping to ourselves means smothering our conscience to the expense of our health; physical, mental and emotional? I posted earlier on how nurses have one of the most stressful and dangerous job; it seems here that it does appear as though there is no way for a nurse to win.

A job should be one that not only helps pay your bills, but also fulfills something inside so that it becomes an ibadah (i.e. a way to serve God). But when you have to decide between your professional health and voicing out your concerns, it is really tough indeed. How often do you find yourself swallowing your view points that is for the benefit of your clients/patients/students/etc because you are afraid that the upper echelons will fall on you like the proverbial tonne of bricks?

Perhaps it is better to balik kampung dan tanam jagung*.

*return to the hometown/village and plant maize

Your Body is a Wonderland

I love that song. About the only John Myer song that I could listen to with any kind of regularity; sweet without being cloying, cajoling and worshipful with a dash of wonderment thrown in.

Your body is a temple; worship it. We all know that. Eat properly, get enough sleep, drink plenty of water, exercise etc. How many of us actually do all that? Well, certainly I don't join that rank of the population. Those who can afford it take short cuts via plastic surgery. A little nip here, a tuck there and voila! You're a new person.

It's easy to snicker about people who chose this route. But take a look at the clip from Nip/Tuck below. I guess the grey areas are larger than I thought.



What think you now?

Marcus Welby vs House MD

When my dad had colon cancer, he said that he wanted to have a doctor like Dr Gregory House; someone who will solve the puzzle of the disease no matter what it takes. My dad was pretty all right with House's brand of caustic acerbicism, and felt that his manic competency will outweigh any and every personality drawbacks that he have. What he got was a surgeon who was brutally honest about the treatment options and is kick ass to boot. So that was cool.

For all that Dr House saves the day (for the most part), when we are sick we don't want someone who mocks us about the poor choices we made that hurts our health or someone who runs rough-shod over our feelings. We want someone who listens and give us the advice we need with no judgment whatsoever. I am sure that all of us have had experiences with medical professionals who treat us with disrespect, annoyingly condescending and out-and-out uncaring about our pain. However, this article gave me hope that there are still doctors out there who still give their all to their calling and made their patients' life a little better all around. However, questions have been raised on whether this personal touch is impairing their judgment and affects their professional conduct adversely. Even the American Medical Association's Principle of Medical Ethics demur on treating family and friends.

Well, it should be up to the physician to decide on the lines to be drawn and crossed when it comes to arranging his/her personal and professional life, isn't it? And let's hope the ones whom we have to deal with does this in a way that makes our doctor's visit nothing like having a toe nail removed.

Reading is Good for You. Really.

Huh. That you would impart subliminal messages of healthy self esteem and good life habits in a young adult fiction novel.

How ... novel.

Not.

But hey, so long as the kids get the idea that life isn't merely a popularity contest, why should it be a problem? Interesting ...

Living with a Lab Rat

As I dip my toes into looking at human subjects, it became clearer to me how hard it is to recruit subjects who not only fits the criteria you wish, but also those who would agree to be poked/prodded/electrocuted etc.

I got the link to this article in NYTimes from The Scientist' Community and when I started reading, I thought, "Hey, why not?" My cousin who was working on juvenile immune response recruited her nieces and nephews for her study. She bribed them to agreeing to come with her to the hospital to have their blood drawn. To date, there don't seem to be any kind of negative effect from their participation in her Master's project.

In general, children have an innate desire to please the adults in their life; be it a parental figure or any other caretaker. Is their consent for the study something taken for granted or is easily waived away because their parent(s) signed the parental consent form? What happens when they grew up and decided that they were not happy with having participated in the study and wishes for the data to be withdrawn? That is something that have been seen in adult participants who withdrew from studies.

I wonder if any of the children who participated in their parent(s)' studies have ever said something along the lines of, "Hey, my data helped you get that professorship. How about springing a car/Playstation/new dress etc for me?"

*ponders*

Standing on the Shoulder of Giants

No one learns in isolation. Even the best philosophers get illuminated by watching and learning the world around them. And when you are a dunce, it is very important to learn from someone who knows. When I came across this link, I nearly wept in gratitude.

For the past few weeks, I've been struggling to re-educate myself with matters of molecular biology and genetics with hopes of making a go of my pharmacogenetics project. As a person who is an audio-visual learner, looking for the right medium to get your wheels going can be a right pain. And isn't it fantastic that the world is populated by kind people who are generous with their knowledge?

Thank you so much Drs. Tyra Wolfsberg, Kris Wetterstrand, Mark Guyer, Francis Collins and Andreas Baxevanis.

*dances with joy at the marvel of the Interwebs*

Shagging Real Early?

No, not that lunch time nookie you had planned with a naughty lover.

*snerk*

This article in the NYTimes paved the way to debunking the myth of teenage shagdom. In Malaysia, the biggest obstacle to a reasonable sex education is the fear that teenagers, upon learning the "right way" to do "it" will be hell bent for leather for the bedroom Olympics.

Never mind that sex education is also about respecting your body and your partner. Never mind that research shows that young individuals who are armed with knowledge are less likely to engage in risky behaviours. Never mind that simply telling teenagers that premarital sex will send them straight to hell has never worked as method of prevention.

The accessibility of pornography (via Internet and pirated media) means that children are exposed to sex at a much younger age. Relentless exposure leads to desensitisation; sex are no longer taboo and may even be a normal recreational activities. The thing is, when adults are reluctant to be honest to children about something so important, it doesn't mean that children are not keen to experiment.

They do not understand that watching pornography can be akin to watching a superhero movie. There are special effects and that the characters are played by actors who are paid to do certain things according to a specific storyline. The activities perpertrated in pornography may be unhealthy and dangerous. Issues of consent is commonly pushed aside in pornography; in fact, some porn cater to non-consensual acts as a draw. This means that children may not understand that full consent is very important when engaging in sexual activity. That when someone screams "NO!" it really means no. Hence, the increasing number of young people being charged with rape; some of them barely in their teens.

Porn is not the way for them to learn that sex is an expression of emotional intimacy and that it is the best thing that two people who love each other can share. Porn does not tell you that sexual activity is something that should only be shared when the body and mind is mature in tandem. Porn does not tell you what to do when you are pregnant and your boyfriend (of the day, week) disappears. Porn does not tell you that you are responsible for your genetic element and fathering a child should be done responsibly.

Anyone who remembers their teenage years with any kind of clarity recalls what a roiling cauldron of hormones you were then. It was the time of exploring curiosity and what is more curious than this body that is changing daily with all this new sensations? How do you deal with these urges? A lot of people have experienced or heard of boarding school shenanigans (or even day school shenanigans, at that); how did that affect their future sexuality or sex life? How did you process all the information? Who told you what? Was the information correct? I had a classmate in secondary school who claimed that babies come out of their mummy's navel. I also had classmates who frenched same-sex classmates and were making plans to go further (in the interest of being better lovers to the opposite sex).

We should, no, we must, teach our children to treat their body with respect and to educate them to make responsible decisions that will affect their future.

Gong Xi Fa Cai!

The Chinese lunar new year will be celebrated next Monday (January 26th) the world over.

I am blessed to live in a multi-cultural country where this is another new year that is a national holiday (we celebrate the secular calendar, the Chinese lunar calendar and the Islamic calendar). In my old neighbourhood, we can expect a great deal of noise in the nights preceding the Chinese new year's (CNY) eve and for up to three weeks after with the celebratory fireworks and sparklers. Fireworks and sparklers are actually banned in my country, but the police are rather tolerant of festival firecrackers as long as no one loses a finger (or an eye, or a limb or any part of their body).

With every festival season, all my countrymen look forward to the celebratory advertisement put out by Petronas. I was lucky to have caught it on screen tonight as I was chatting with my parents. All of Petronas' festival advertisement are like micro features; a superbly crafted story executed fluidly in about two minutes. Laden with meaning, beauty and emotion, these advertisements serve to remind us that the most important thing in life is love; be it family, lover or country. If I am not mistaken, all or nearly all of the ads are the handiwork of the incomparable Yasmin Ahmad. She is a film-maker of renown who often deals with subjects such as love and betrayal and compassion for fellow man so passionately and beautifully. Unfortunately, her "unconventional" expressions often lands her in hot water with the national censorship board. Thanks to their overzealousness, our neighbouring Singaporeans get to watch her films much earlier than any of her own countrymen.

This year's CNY ad reminds us how fleet time is and how sorrowful regret can be. The muted tones, the lowered voice ... tres fantastique. The actors are very fine and did a wonderful job at telling the story. The backdrop is Ipoh, with its old world charm and idiosyncratic features.

It is said that the year of the Ox will be a better one than the last. Here's to that!

Yam seng!

I vote for Hospital X ...

Getting the best of healthcare treatment should be the rights of all individuals. Unfortunately, the healthcare market is skewed to favour those with the more moolah. But is money alone the sole determinant of getting the best treatment when you are dealing with cancer, hypertension, cardiovascular issues etc? How do you know to shop for the best place to get your gall bladder out?

This article in NYTimes indicated that it is important to shop around for the best treatment and that physicians should be ethically obligated to disclose whether or not the institution that they are affiliated with is the best place for the patient to receive the treatment indicated. But when you consider how little interaction the physician wants to have with you, as a patient, it renders this a moot point. Many physicians are still of the old school, paternalistic style: I know what's best for you and you should trust and not question my judgment/recommendation.

I was just glad that when my dad was diagnosed with colon cancer, he agreed to go to a teaching hospital that my mother frequents. Not only is the cost reasonable (hehehe, we cheated on this one as my sister is a government servant and could get massive discounts for the treatment), the surgeon (a scary and uber competent woman) does the operation on a weekly basis and thus, is well-trained for the occasion.

The thing is, many patients are still unable to communicate their needs well with their physician. It is easy to point the finger at the physician for not being better listeners/willing to spend time with the patient etc., but do we, as patients, pay attention to what and how we tell our problems to our doctors?

Point to ponder.

I am my gene, not my ethnicity

This article by Jerry Adler in Newsweek gave me pause. I'm in the middle of constructing a proposal to look at the pharmacogenetics of diabetes in the Malaysian population. One of the parameters that I plan to collect during the course of the investigation is ethnicity (or race, except that race sounds so ... racist.). Living in multicultural Malaysia where you have a box in any given form to indicate your ancestry(Melayu, Cina, India dan lain-lain), identifying yourself as part of an ethnic group is pretty much a way of life.

For those who are of mixed parentage, things can get pretty squeaky. As Asians, you are expected to identify yourself per your father's ethnicity (paternalistic society norms still prevail in the 21st century). But what if your father is a mere sperm donor and you do not want to link yourself to him at all? Or you're a dyed in the wool feminist who believes in aligning yourself with your maternal lineage?

Anyway. A number of the work done in disease genetics in Malaysia do indicate certain patterns that relate to a person's ethnicity. I guess I will not be going all gung-ho about not being "racist" in my project.

*crescents fingers*